you know who, xoxo

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
Don't regret when i'm gone,

Saturday, May 30, 2009
Last blogged @

Very nice of dear to come down to CGH to look for me today.

He bought sushis and my favourite pillows!

I had a superb sleep last night.

It was fantastic!

I haven't slept like more than 5hours ever since attachment started.

Anyway, I just remembered something pretty funny when I was in South View Pri.

(Till now, me and Jul still miss the samosa & spicy drumlets!)

Anyway, we were walking back to the AVA room, where the health check was at.

Then a group of prefects saw us and bowed to us.

HAHAHHAHA.

I LOVE PILLOWS.

Maybe he can make pillows into a ring formation.

Maybe I'll marry him! ^_^

Thursday, May 28, 2009
Last blogged @

Oh man.
I just vomitted a whole lot.
I ate too much today.
And I felt very guilty just the thought of it.
Like I had done something really wrong, against my rights, as a matter of fact.

I love the School Health Services posting!
I just love it!
I love those primary 1 schoolers.
I love those shy faces when you smile/wave at them.
Everyone knows I'm obssessed with marriage and kids.
That's all my mind can contain.
Been skipping lessons because of attachments.
I didn't went for classes for one whole damn week.
Can't be blamed.
Blame the school instead.

Is my new blogskin nice? :(
I heard it's not as nice.
Sigh.
Changing it soon.
It takes hours to change a blogskin man.
Back to CGH tomorrow.
And now that there's H1N1, it makes me even more anxious about myself.

I've been repeating my blogsongs again and again.
Favourites!
I can wake up late tomorrow!
ENVY MEEEE!

xoxo,
Diana.

PS:

LOOK AT BOT THE DUMB PERSON.

You ownself give birth to a nose lah!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Last blogged @

First day of SHS posting.
Super funny!
Julie is funny enough.
Adding in my dear Siti Hawa, the funny-ness got tripled.
I wonder is she like that in every ward.
We talked about toast bread, manipulating it to using hands as knifes.
Then manipulating it again to using EBM(express breast milk) as a new spread.
Laughed throughout the day man!

Thanks Kaikai for helping us on our way to South View Pri!
We got lost.
The CI told us to take bus 307 to get there.
So we took bus 307 from the interchange.
GOD KNOWS WE HAVE TO GO TO THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE MRT TO TAKE THE BUS!
Make the 5 of us (Reb, Siti, Jul, Liu Lei) stupid stupid take 307 to Yew Tee from CCK and back to CCK again.
Feel like laughing!
Looook, Siti still reminded me to bring EBM tomorrow.
Damn dirty!
HAhahhahahahaha!
Siao ginas!
Donno how am I going to get thr tomorrow.
I bought Pillows (A chocolate filling snack) and Siti started saying that I should try eating bedsheet blankets and whatever your imagination can think of.
Omg, joke of the pig man!
Must take picture tomorrow!
^^
And those little primary school kids are sooooo cute!

One of them was so afraid to get injections that he lied saying that his dad didn't fill in the form but the matter of fact was he didn't even dare to let his Dad sign it!
So cute right!
His dad came over to sign and he wailed so loudly when he got his injection.

Yay! Looking forward to going to see those small cute little kids! ^_^

I've achieved the first step of trusting.
But did I really did it, or was it because it was aided?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Last blogged @

Anyone interested in High-waist shorts?

And off shoulder top?

VISIT MY BLOGSHOPPPPPP LAH GOON-DOS!

SHOP UR ASS OUT NOW.

Okay, I'm feeling very tired.

2nd day at the ward is extemely exhausting.

After seeing how one of the staff nurse treat a patient that is still aware of the surroundings and staffs.

This particular patient is in the Isolation Room.

I treated him very well.

I realise I have a little thing for patients, I can emphathize with them cos I was once a patient admitted for dengue fever.

And I know that needles and the way the nurse treat us impacts us.

I'm rather sensitive to this word, Pain.

I'm very worried sometimes to not be rough with patients cos I'm afraid they might feel painful.

So sometimes I refuse to assess to certain tasks.

Damnit, why am I like that.

Back to the topic.

That patient was conscience and aware of what's being done to him, how people treated him and stuffs.

So as me and Julie was attempting to clean his sacral wound, we found it hard to turn him to the posterior side.
So we got the staff nurse to assist us.

She got very rough and the patient got very aggitated.

He started scolding her and she scolded her back.

The nurse forcefully push the patient so that he was lying with his head downwards.

I felt very sorry for the patient I told him in chinese:

Sorry ah uncle, you know certain staffs here.
Don't get angry.
I'm very sorry.
Maybe some nurses just wants to get their job done quickly.

I honestly felt very sorry for him.
I started wondering how was my grandfather treated before he passed away.
Was he treated like that in the past?
I realise that in the past, I treated nurses with alot of trust and confidence.
But now, I don't really know.

I'm starting to have doubts on the quality of care.
I feel very sad for the patient.
I can't really help him.
And I feel very helpless.

Afterwards, Julie and I done wound dressing for a patient with like 100001 gangreen wounds.
I used like 5/6 tubes of normal saline, around 10 maloline and 20 tegaderm for him.
The cleaning just goes on and on.
That patient had many tattoos on his hands.
So the staff told me,
Do more good things, you have to pay back before you go 'up'.
So I started thinking about retributions and staffs.

But the staffs are all very nice there.

Really!!!

Sometimes nurses just gotta get their work done fast.
They've got reports to write, medications to administer, vital signs to take 4 hourly or sometimes Hourly.
I think it's tiring.
So many things to be done in shortly 7 short hours.
Hard.

Me & July loves attachment cos we have soooo many 'motivations'!!!

Bought a Adidas water bottle for my boy for him to bring work.
He uses the one that I accidentally left at his home.
Bought him biscuits and Old Chang Kee as well.
East point is seriously a weirdddddd feelin' shopping centre.

Tomorrow's 8-4pm.
My legs ache, alot, alot alot alot.

Monday, May 25, 2009
Last blogged @

Sometimes I think people are really stubborn.
To the max.
We're already in Year 2.
I thought it was time to grow up.
Wake up, if I could, why couldn't you?

Sunday, May 24, 2009
Last blogged @

I know I've neglected this space for donkey ages.

But I'm back now :)

Reached home a couple of hours ago.

Went to Ambrose & his family's chalet after pj.

Surprisingly, my momma allowed me to ton.

Funnnnnn overall.

Other than the fact that I was doing nothing the last night waiting for someone.

Slept for 4 to 5 tiny hours.

Went to his grandma house after we checkout from the chalet.
Anyway, the chalet was at Tanah Merah, goodness gracios! I forgot da name! :O
Okay fine :D

I'm so tired!
I don't even know if I would be able to wakeup tomorrow.
Watched Night At The Museum 2 with baby boy.
He was retareded cos he liked the show.
Whereas I thought it was like a 2/5 stars show!
Everything's the same, other than the new few scenes and stuffs.
Ewwww, stupid boyfriend, that I still love :)
Hahhahha.
Dont angry :P

Amelia accompanied throughout everything in the chalet.
Although I was abit paiseh and shyshy here and there, she pei-ed me ^_^
Thankyouuuuu verrry muchhhh :)

Na, give you! Wahahhaha:
我知道你還是愛著我
雖然分開的理由
我們都已接受 ~~~~~

Woooo! Im obsessing over it!

Okayokay, I'm gonna glue my eyes to S Factor!
Tata!
Love!

omgomgomgomg!
DONT LIKE SONIA WIN PLEASE!
KAYKAY SHOULD WIN! WTF!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Last blogged @

Hunger subsides my pain.

Hadn't had anything since 2days ago.

Other than a mashed potato.

I don't know whether I'm pretending or trying very hard to be someone else.

Why is this so on/off.

Fucked up.

Serious.

Monday, May 18, 2009
Last blogged @

We're back together again.

I don't wanna describe everything again.

I just gave up listening to my inner voices.

But I really wanna just try my best.

If it doesn't work out, then I'll isolate myself.

I just wanna thank everyone for your encouragements.

And I really feel better that there are so many people around me whom are really concerned about me, and knowing that I'm actually not alone in this world.

Thankyou guys very very much!

Especially Kenshin & YongKiat and especially Shanna.

Though I think she got mad cos some of her Idk who friends asked about me.

Mwaaaaaahs shanna!

Obs ward was funnnnn today!

Maybe cos Me was posted to nursery for the first damn day!
Time passed averagely fast, which was a friggin good sign.

The babies are all sooooo cute!

It's true when they say that when the baby crys, he/she just wants something!

It's true!
I didn't believe it!

But I did today.

Cos it's just because either they pee/poop in their diapers, or they want milk.

Babies are cute!
When can I have one?!

I want!!!

I want a boy baby with alot of hair big bright eyes and sharp nose!

WHEN IS IT MY TURN?!

Labels: Obs ward ;)

Last blogged @

I waited for you outside ZJ's house once I wakeup.
I didnt knew you didn't went home.
Only when your mom called me, did I know you wouldn't be going to work the following day.
I dono how would I be going for my attachment later.

Sunday, May 17, 2009
Last blogged @

I keep thinking what you're doing.
Who you're with.

My mom knew about what happened.
She doesn't get the problem with me.
But even she found me ridiculous in my actions.
I can't blame anybody.
I'll just keep crying.
I feel that I'm dehydrating every fucking second.
Maybe I'll just pass away tomorrow.
It isn't easy.
Even for a couple of hours was enough to kill me.
What's wrong with me.
Why can't I be like everybody else?
Am I going to be like this for the rest of my life?
I really can't straighten out my thoughts.

Last blogged @

I have this dying urge to text you.

I have this dying urge to hug you now.

I want what's best for you.

I can't cut myself, cos I can't appear in ward with more scars on my arm.

I feel so painful.

Really.

My heart's crying.

I really want the best for you.

I may not be fair to you by suggesting a breakup.

Maybe it was a mistake we made by getting together.

I'm so sorry.

I'm really very sorry.

I cried at the bus inter.

I cried on the bus on my way home.

I took a long walk home and cried all the way.

Just forget me, I know I'm being selfish by saying that.

I'm better off alone.

I'm sorry, really very sorry.

I really wanna message you, but I'm holding it all to myself cos I don't wanna disrupt you.

I'm sorry.

I may be like this for the rest of my life.

I can't trust, I really can't.

I hate myself, you people may gag.

Saturday, May 16, 2009
Last blogged @

As you can see, I've eaten Secret Recipe with my mom today.

She knew I would take pictures of my food.

But I accidentally took a bite off my banana chocolate cake.

Looks nice right?
Taste nice too! But I don't really like the creamy part, so I was diggin it out :/

Shared a chicken lasagne with my Mom.

Yes, she'd came back from Singapore.

I guess she really knows what I'm thinkin.

And people, I'm feeling better now.

Don't have to worry :)
It is a 'hot & cold' kinda thing.

I can't really control it.

Waiting for the light scars to disappear.

Anyway, back to the topic.
Went shopping with Mommmm today at Plaza Sing.

Bought a $46 shorts at Dorothy Perkins.

When I reached home & opened up the bag, I was surprised to see a packaging with a necklace in it. :)

At the back it wrote: Your surprise is our delight.

Cool right?
I like their marketing strategy.

Happppy!
Shan joined us when Mom just purchased a M)phosis top.

Then we went to bought a nice pair of sandals for me to wear to school.

Now I don't have to wear uncomfortable floooopers that cuts my leg.

Bought boxers for myself and Shannna.

Off to play Restaurant City!
Wooohooo!

I hate that game you can't imagine how much!

Thursday, May 14, 2009
Last blogged @

I'm tired of living.
Everytime I try to trust, I fail.
Why?
I have inner voices that tells me not to trust him.
Are those hallucinations?
It's tiring.
So tiring it'll drive me nuts.
I cut 7 small slashes on my left arm.
The pain was there.
I am alive.
I felt relieved.
I'm so tired.
I forgot the meaning and spelling of trust.
I wish I lost my memory all over again.
I might feel better.
I've taken my pills but it's not taking effect.
I'm stll awake.

I just think of dying.
Like how I should end it all.
I know I'm foolish.
But I'm not doing it over a guy.
I just hate myself.
Sometimes I wish I can be like other people.
I really do.
Lead a very innocent and happy life.

Once the pain goes, I feel like having it back again.
I'm sorry if I dissappoint my friends and family.
I'm just feeling very stressed about my emotional condition.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Last blogged @

There's Mrs Dorothy's lesson tomorrow!
Yayyyyyyyyy!
Seriously, I keep thinking of getting married.
After watching the Sean & Michelle wedding thing.
I also want to throw $3000 worth of diamante flowers for others to catch.
I just wanna get married & go touring around the world with my spouse.

Shits.

Some people can be so fickleminded.
One minute swear and vow that 'Ohhhhh! I won't blog until after I die.'
Then the next minute 'Ohhhhhh! I've opened a new blog please relink me.'
LAUGHOUTLOUD.
Contradicting & super funny.
Although it's none of my business & I hate to care, okay, I'm just taking you as though as though I've never known you before.
What a ungrateful brat.
When you woo my sis, you treat me like a goddess.
I helped you & you treated me like I've shit in your shorts.
_l_
This is for you, my dear, for me being so nice to you, and you treating me like crap :)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Last blogged @

OHMYGAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!
A COCKROACH FLEW INTO MY ROOM AND INVADED MY SPACE!
GOODNIGHT!
I WON'T BE SLEEPING IN MY ROOM TONIGHT.
I'LL GET MY MAID TO CATCH IT TOMORROW MORNING.
DIANA'S GOTTA WAKEUP AT 6AM TOMORROW.
PROPROPRO.
Die.

Last blogged @

Feeling better now.
Went to Bf's house and I got a 'relapse' again.
Started crying after that though.
I know I sound stupid.
But I feel so sad to be myself.

Hope everything gets better for me!
Thanks for all the encourages on MSN and tagboard and messages!
Appreciated!

I'll slowly learn how to trust.
Bit by bit.
Even if it's not that obvious, but I'll still try my best.

Thankyou Bf, for standing by me.
Really.

Sunday, May 10, 2009
Last blogged @

Life sucks.

Let me tell you a story, about me.

I used to meet X, my ex-boyf everyday after school.
He was very nice, to buy me lunch and snacks after school.
We didn't eat at hawker centres, but at restaurants everytime we go to a shopping mall.
I was very rich at that time so everytime I withdraw cash from my bank accounts, it would range from at least $50 to $200.

Yes, no lies.

Everything seems sweet.
I slowly get to know his parents and go to his house very often to play Audition cos my parents don't really like me to play games, but to concentrate on my studies instead.
So slowly, it became a routine, and an addiction to see him everyday.
We had quarrels in between and I started getting obsessive.
I disliked the way he talked to girls and flirt around.
Cos I've caught him flirting with girls and stuffs for many times.
He always threatened to kill all my family members.
He threatened to kill my dogs.
He fought with me, like kicks & boxes.
There was once when we quarreled, and that was roughly the last time we saw each other.
That quarrel got very big, and my parents got involved.
My mom came out and obviously, he got frightened and when home shortly.
He started messaging me to meet him for one last time.
I was very forgiving, I said alright.
It was very dark outside the waiting area at my house.
At that time, Tangerine Grove, the newly built condo was not even there yet.
Therefore, barely anyone even walks past.
He took out a knife from his sling bag.
And started to threaten me that he would kill himself and stuffs.
Then shortly after, we broke up.

Because I came to know this guy called Ambrose Lim, in which helped me threaten him to not harrass me anymore.

At that time, Ambrose was only my Maple boyfriend.
And his friends and him decided to come down to help me.
After that we got together.
However, he still continues to bug me.
So his friends and him just threatened him to not text me anymore.

However, I have to admit something.
I find it very hard to trust.
It's really very very disturbing.
If I tell you that I've got thoughts of suicide, would you believe me?
I feel very sorry and indepted to Ambrose.
Sometimes, I would suggest breakups because that is what I think would be better for him.
Seriously, I'm so sorry.
Can anyone tell me what I can do?
I know this can't go on, and it would be very serious as time goes by.
It's hard when you can't trust someone whom you love so much.
I've never stopped/gave up loving Ambrose, but I can't learn how to trust.
I'm trying so hard.
But wild thoughts would just appear.
Even though I know nothing would happen, but the thoughts just appears.
It's getting very disturbing.
How can this stop?
Am I sick?
Do I need to see a doctor?

Last blogged @

Please choose either one of this picture. on the top or bottom!

Vote for one on the tagboard pleasepleaseplease!
Annonymous tags accepted :D

Last blogged @

Yay! So cute right?
Happpy purse!

Yesterday was XiangEn's baby boy, Valentino's 1yr old celebration.
V was so cute!
He kept sticking his tongue to his dad's.

Yesterday was also the red egg plucking ceremony!

LOL.
Gab, Denka, and Rose kept peeling eggs.

LMAO.

ZJ & I were only in charge to eat.

LOL.

Overall eggs eaten.

ZJ:1

Denka:3 (High Cholestrol aye.)
Gab:1 or 2

Ambrose: 1and a half.

Diana: 1 and a half.

HC Boy (High-chol)

WAHAHHAHAHAHA. NICE RIGHT?!

Bf came over to my place for suki yaki dinner.

In case you don't know what it means,

it is something like Japanese steamboat with the main dish of beef in Japanese sauce.

It's been a long time since we had suki yaki for dinner.

It used to be like a once a month thing but not now.

Bf doesn't really like it cos he says that the soup base was too sweet.

But it was too my liking, cos I love sweet stuffs.

Yesterday was also a post-Weiyang birthday celebration.

So Rose & I went to choose his present at Toys R Us for him.

Batteries are not cheap, 2 AA batteries for $11?
Wow, you're kidding.

Rose and I started drinking.

First shot was pure, I drank it all and it burnt.

B.U.R.N.T.
Then we took it slow.

Me Love Toys.

Mom's coming home from China today.

Damn it, she didn't even bothered to call much once she was there.

So I didn't really bother to get her a present other than a card.

Sometimes, I hate her sister.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Last blogged @

Familiar sticker?

Got our ring today after schoool.
Skipped 2hr of bio lab :X

Tired Diana Is.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Last blogged @

Back from school.
I realise that only certain teachers can make me feel not so sleepy.
Anyway, Bio class today was fun.
Diana's gonna be a scientist soon :)
We're supposed to stain those glass slides with bacteria found from hand.
Then stain it with different colouring to see the positive and negative types of bacteria.
The ultra geniustic Diana made a record even the teacher was impressed!
Commonly seen results are bacteria stained with either pink or purple bacteria.
But this Genius Diana made it half pink and half purple!
The teacher was impressed!
Woooohoooooo ^^
GENIUS BRAVO BRAVO !

:X
Ehehehee, kidding.

Anyway, Vanitha was telling me in class that people who failed one module in the previous sem from group A of nursing group was able to go for their elective.
Dissapointing.
I guess this nursing manager has a screw loosened from her cerebrum or shit.
Seriously, she suck :)
WHY IS THIS SO UNFAIR, RIGHT?

Nyp is so cute.
All the barriers are now back to use because of the influenza A or H1N1 as you call it.
So now every morning all students from NYP has to queue from outside of the Auditorium in circlessssssss then into the auditiorium t walk pass the barrier that indicates you red when you have fever.

http://www.moh.gov.sg/
for more info on H1N1 virus.

Monday, May 4, 2009
Last blogged @

I had a splendid day with Bf yesterday, for our 2-digit anniverssary.
We went to Ajisen Ramen and the bill came to $47 over dollars.
I had a Ton Tori Ramen, which is like, strips of pork in a bowl of ramen.
Darling ordered the Volcano Ramen that indicated the 4th level of spicness( W ).
Food wasn't that bad ^^
Then we walked around Tampines mall to find a stupid shop called Couple Lab.
Went all the way to Plaza Sing to get it done.
Then the sales person told us that they have at T1 (Tampines 1) the new shopping stretch at tampines.
-.- totally!
Then my bf says that he doesn't wanna put his english name, therefore we both had our couple rings engraved with our chinese name.

Me: Walao chinese name! Zzzz! My chinese name so not nice (I started scribbling my chinese name on the order form)
Sales assistant looked at the orderform and said: Hahah. Not that bad lah. Cos my chinese name also Yiting.

LAUGHOUTLOUD.

So we walked around and had Beard Papa's creampuff ^_^
Woooooooooooooo :D

I was feeling very tired today throughout lessons in school.

I just feel like shutting my eyes and shut down my brains for a while.

Everthing wasn't feeling right.

I don't like it when I buy something and someone wants to buy a similar thing as me.

I don't like that feeling at all.

You can call me a stupid girl, but I don't care I just don't like it.

I'm sure some of us has that kind of feeling.

Who likes to have his/her bag rummaged through and stuffs removed without your knowledge?
Tell me.

Yes I'm talking about you Weiling.

Firstly, I think it's rude to take things out from other's bag without their permission.

You do it once and twice I didn't say anything.

How many times have you done such stuffs?

Ask yourself for goodness sake.

Do you know how irritating it is?
It's not like it's a pencil or pen please.
Sometimes I think you assume that we're so close that I can take ALL your jokes.

But I beg to differ, the fact is, No, I can't.

I can play with you during lessons and after classes.

We can go crazy but this does not mean you can go over MY limit.

And although we make the people around us laugh and joke around, I still wish that the form of respect is still there.

Age wise, you're a year older than me, so please behave more decently & maturely than me.

Thankyou, I've said my piece.

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Saturday, May 2, 2009
Last blogged @

Went to Bf's house today.
Did nothing except playing NBA09 and going online.
I played Audition and stuffs.
My left eye is sick.
Any doctor?
It's not because of lenses.
But I supposed it's because of the constant rubbing because of the eyeliner I apply.

Fierce Factor by your Lady Gaga!
Wahahahhahahah.
Don't forget your eyebrows.

Do you believe in God? Buddhist God.
It's unbelievable.
And it's hard to believe.
Goodness.

Friday, May 1, 2009
Last blogged @

Yesterday was very traumatizing.
After looking at the modules that we were allowed to take,
I realised that my electivfe module was cancelled in red ink and labelled de-register.
So I was pretty shocked.
As Vanitha and I were on the same boat, we went down to check with the Head of Nursing.
She said as long as we fail a module, we needa work extra hard to take our elective next semester provided we get good grades, like Bs or Cs.
Fucker.
I really don't see why we can't take the elective when it doesn't clashes with my school timetable.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Now because of the swine flu.
All nursing students are greatly affect.
Because of code orange, many students of class A are now going back to school for lessons, or quarantined?
I heard they wouldn't be qurantined though o.o
But once this happens, our attachments would be affected.
Shit man.
Then we gotta let it drag on.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitness.

Disclaimer

Diana Mok

Diana ; RebelBaby
Follow me on Twitter; RebelBxoxo
Frescotabasco@hotmail.com

From 3rd Dec 08

Affiliates

Shannee Love! KahSoon Sis! Stella sis! M. Weiling Sis! WeiXuan Jef Calene Arron Louis Paul Andee Julie Chyesen!

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